Masturbation: Sexual Fantasies, Sexual Dreams, and Masturbation
**Section 2 Sexually Related Behaviors**
**I. Masturbation**
Masturbation refers to all self-initiated activities aimed at satisfying sexual desires without the participation of a member of the opposite sex. It generally takes three forms: sexual fantasies, sexual dreams, and masturbation.
1. Sexual Fantasy: Sexual fantasy refers to a person's imagining of unrealizable sexually related events while awake. It's a self-created, sexually charged "continuous story," also known as a daydream. Sexual fantasies primarily stem from infatuation with the opposite sex. Normal adolescents often develop admiration and fantasies about idols they don't even know, weaving beautiful dreams while gazing at their posters. The beauty of fantasy lies in its freedom from time and space constraints, its ability to withstand prying eyes, and its ability to temporarily transcend reality. Fantasy can strengthen self-worth, allowing us to focus on our strengths; it can also relieve stress and tension, helping us cope with emotional pressure and promptly alleviate anxiety-the biggest obstacle to achieving satisfaction. Women with active and pleasurable sex lives often have rich fantasy experiences. Sex therapists frequently recommend using fantasy to stimulate sexual response.
The above analysis shows that every normal person may have fantasies (including sexual fantasies), which can be beneficial to our sex life, adding fun to our sex life. It is a normal part of life and not a pathological condition. However, fantasies should be moderate, especially for young men and women in puberty. If they only fantasize, especially indulging in sexual fantasies, it can delay their studies, lead them astray, and even lead them down a path of sexual crime or cause sexual psychological disorders.
There is a fundamental difference between sexual fantasies in normal people and hallucinations in mental patients. Sexual fantasies are self-controllable and temporary. The fantasizer can clearly recognize that the content is fictional and does not exist in real life. It is governed by subjective will. In contrast, hallucinations in mental illness are a pathological condition, a kind of illusory perceptual disorder. Patients cannot distinguish or criticize them. Under the control of hallucinations, they may even produce various impulses and bizarre behaviors, such as destroying property, hurting people, pointing fingers, etc.
2. Sexual Dreams: Sexual dreams refer to the phenomenon of engaging in sexual activity with the opposite sex and achieving sexual satisfaction during sleep. According to foreign reports, sexual dreams occur more frequently in males than females; males are more likely to experience them during puberty, while females are more likely to experience them in late puberty. Sexual dreams are also a normal psychological phenomenon during puberty.
3. Masturbation. Masturbation refers to the act of achieving sexual arousal or orgasm through self-stimulation or manipulation of the genitals. This stimulation can be induced by the hands or some other object. Both men and women can masturbate, but it is more common in men. Approximately 60% of people have inappropriate or incorrect views on masturbation. Some consider it a "bad habit that harms health," while others consider it an "immoral act" or a "criminal act." Clearly, these views are greatly influenced by traditional concepts.
In fact, the harm of masturbation lies not in masturbation itself, but in the psychological damage caused by the "masturbation is harmful theory"-the fear, guilt, self-blame, and regret after masturbation are the true root of all the harms of masturbation. Since the majority of people have a history of masturbation, if the consequences of masturbation are portrayed as alarmist, how can this world, composed of so many men and women with a history of masturbation, still be a good place? Masturbation is a means of self-gratification, a way to release sexual energy and relieve sexual tension. Of course, excessive masturbation is also detrimental. Excessive masturbation allows for sexual climax without the need for normal attraction from the opposite sex, which is an abnormal and perverse form of sexual satisfaction.
Professor Wu Jieping, a Chinese medical expert, offers some insightful advice on how to deal with masturbation: "Don't start out of curiosity, don't be bothered by it, and if it becomes a habit, have the determination to overcome it. Once you overcome it, you won't worry anymore, and there won't be any adverse consequences."
**II. Sexual Attraction**
Sexual attraction refers to the perception, feeling, and sexual physiological and psychological responses of being attracted to the opposite sex (e.g., heterosexuals) or the same sex (e.g., homosexuals) through various sensory inputs from sight, touch, smell, hearing, and the secondary signal system. If the object of attraction is of the opposite sex, it is mostly considered normal; if it is same-sex attraction, it is mostly considered abnormal sexual psychology (also known as sexual perversion).
Visual attraction is a crucial aspect of attraction between the sexes; the eyes can convey emotions and feelings of affection. Women who attract men often possess physical attributes such as full breasts, round hips, almond-shaped lips and cheeks, and delicate eyebrows and white teeth, exhibiting a curvaceous and sensual beauty. Men who attract women are typically robust, strong, broad-shouldered, and powerful, exuding masculinity.
Auditorily, men generally enjoy listening to women's soft whispers and sweet nothings, while a man's deep, resonant voice can exert a powerful sexual attraction on most women, causing them to feel a thrill and a surge of desire. However, almost all women find certain men's "effeminate" voices repulsive. During sexual intercourse, intimate banter between couples, romantic moments, or music with youthful melodies can often ignite their passion.
Touch often plays a remarkable role in sexual attraction. Intimate hugs, kisses, and caresses between couples, especially during sexual intercourse, such as poetic gentle rubbing or close physical contact with each other on sensitive areas like the breasts, armpits, lower abdomen, penis, clitoris, and vulva, can further stimulate sexual affinity and attraction, generating intense sexual arousal.
Generally speaking, women have a more acute sense of smell than men. While the role of smell in sexual attraction is less pronounced in humans, it plays an unparalleled role in the mutual attraction between males and females in both lower and higher animals. However, men are generally latently sensitive to a woman's delicate and fragrant body odor, which can arouse sexual excitement and arousal; women are very sensitive to a man's body odor, especially a faint scent from his armpits, which can often arouse sexual excitement, sometimes even creating a strong attraction that leads to weakness and increased libido. Of course, excessively strong body odor, whether in men or women, can backfire, causing disgust and avoidance in the other person.
In reality, sexual attraction is not simply enhanced by a single stimulus from the senses of sight, touch, hearing, and smell; these senses often work together and reinforce each other to form a holistic response. Furthermore, secondary signal systems (such as language, text, pictures, movies, television, slides, and songs) and synesthetic responses such as thought and memory collectively contribute to and strengthen sexual attraction towards the opposite sex, the same sex, and oneself. Of course, this synesthesia is all related to specific sensory experiences, including romance novels, attentive physical care, heartfelt encouragement and praise, and movies and television programs that frequently include sensual scenes.