Article 71: Skills Tests for Making Friends with the Opposite Sex and In-Depth Analysis of Psychological Resilience

21. Are you good at making friends with the opposite sex?

This test assesses your interpersonal skills when interacting with the opposite sex. Furthermore, careful observation will reveal unexpected insights: you'll discover some tips for making friends with the opposite sex.

1. You deeply understand that familiarity is key to getting to know someone you like, so to create more opportunities to get closer to them, you always proactively seek their advice or borrow something, right?

A. Yes. B. I know it's a skill, but I'm not good at it. C. I won't do it.

2. In lively social situations, when you sense someone's continued attention or when responding to their greetings, do you always display a shy, timid, and bewildered expression?

A. Yes. B. Not sure. C. No.

3. When you're on a date, do you occasionally use your left hand to gesture?

A. I don't remember. B. No. C. Yes.

4. When you're interacting with someone of the opposite sex you like, do you like to talk on and on, giving long monologues?

A. Yes. B. No. C. I don't remember.

5. Are you good at building relationships and winning the praise of relatives and friends?

A. Yes. B. No. C. Uncertain.

6. Now you're planning to write a letter or note to express your love to him/her. Would you choose to give it to him/her at night?

A. No. B. Yes. C. Occasionally.

7. Now that you know the other person's birthday, are you willing to spend the money and time to choose a gift they would like and give it to them on their birthday?

A. Yes. B. Unsure. C. No.

8. When talking to him/her, do you always choose topics that he/she is most interested in at the moment?

A. Yes. B. Sometimes. C. No.

9. When you're together, you seize every opportunity to praise his/her strengths and express sincere appreciation for everything he/she does, which gives him/her a sense of satisfaction, right?

A. Yes. B. No. C. Sometimes.

10. No matter where you meet, you always wear clothes he/she likes or clothes he/she picked out for you, right?

A. Yes. B. No. C. Sometimes.

11. You are very sensitive to the other person's situation, circumstances, and feelings at all times, and you offer timely comfort, right?

A. Yes. B. No. C. Sometimes.

12. Do you always leave a lasting impression on your date by being incredibly affectionate and reluctant to part ways at the end of a date?

A. Yes. B. No. C. Sometimes.

Scoring method:

Except for question 4, all answers "yes" receive 2 points, "no" receives 0 points, and neutral answers receive 1 point. For question 4, "yes" receives 0 points, "no" receives 2 points, and neutral answers receive 1 point.

Scoring Explanation:

Category A: 0-7 points. If you belong to this category, you should study this carefully. You are not good at observation and thinking, know very little about the psychology of the opposite sex, and always act according to your own likes and dislikes. Therefore, in his/her eyes, you are both uncultured and lack manners. I hope you will seriously reflect on yourself and always remember that you are a suitor who is pursuing a lover.

Category B: 8-17 points. You possess certain skills in making friends with the opposite sex, and further improvement would be even better. You have enthusiasm for interacting with the opposite sex and are able to understand their feelings quite well, but you lack initiative in demonstrating your friendship and manners. It is hoped that you will greatly enhance your performance in this area.

Category C: 18-24 points. Congratulations! Regardless of your figure or appearance, you are someone who is very popular with the opposite sex. You are intelligent, quick-witted, considerate, and good at understanding the psychology of the opposite sex and taking care of them appropriately. Although you may not be as talented as others or have an average appearance, you are still very popular with the opposite sex.

7. Psychological resilience test

Psychological resilience refers to an individual's ability to withstand or resist external stimuli, indicating their psychological capacity and tenacity. Because of differences in psychological resilience, individuals react differently to strong external stimuli. For example, upon the death of a loved one, some are overwhelmed with grief and weep uncontrollably; others may immediately enter a state of shock and lose consciousness; some, despite experiencing intense emotional trauma, remain calm; others may develop reactive mental disorders or psychosomatic illnesses; some can tolerate brief periods of intense stimulation, but under chronic and prolonged mental torment, they may develop psychological abnormalities, lethargy, and personality disorders; some may experience various forms of mental stress throughout their lives without developing serious psychological problems. All of these variations stem from the different levels of psychological resilience each individual possesses.

In essence, psychological resilience reflects a person's mental flexibility and is a microcosm of their mental state. With increasing social competition, life's ups and downs have a stronger psychological impact on modern people. Therefore, understanding and improving one's psychological resilience is crucial. The following test aims to help you understand your own psychological resilience. Please select the appropriate option:

1. I spent my childhood being spoiled by my parents.

A. No B. Yes C. Not entirely

2. My journey after entering society was full of hardships, and I was often looked down upon.

A. Yes B. No C. Not entirely

3. After being dumped in a relationship, I almost lost the will to live.

A. No B. Yes C. Not entirely

4. My income is not high, but I always feel financially secure.

A. Yes B. No C. Not entirely

5. It would be torture for me to work with people whose personalities clash with mine.

A. Yes B. Not necessarily C. No

6. I have never taken sleeping pills.

A. No B. Not entirely C. Yes

7. I am shocked that my friend often brings an unpleasant stranger to visit me.

A. Yes B. No C. Not entirely

8. I was supposed to be the one getting the salary adjustment this time, but for some reason, he was replaced when the list was announced. Even so, I am at peace with it and congratulate him.

A. No B. Uncertain C. Yes

9. I feel disgusted when I see people who are neither male nor female on the street, or when I hear loud, chaotic music.

A. Uncertain B. No C. Yes

10. Although the new system is not in my best interest, I still believe that it is logical and inevitable to promulgate it.

A. Uncertain B. Yes C. No

11. I encountered several unpleasant things in succession, each one more distressing than the last.

A. Uncertain B. No C. Yes

12. I can remain calm and composed even when talking to my "love rival".

A. Uncertain B. Yes C. No

★Diagnosis and Recommendations

A. Poor psychological resilience. This may be related to your smooth-sailing experiences. You are psychologically fragile, unable to withstand stimulation, let alone unexpected setbacks. Even the slightest inconvenience can cause you sleepless nights and loss of appetite-this is a major weakness. However, psychological resilience is malleable. It is recommended that you actively broaden your psychological resilience, take on more challenges, and accept life's challenges with a positive attitude. At the same time, try to think less about personal gains and losses, because psychological resilience, in essence, is the ability to withstand losses of personal interests. "A selfless heart makes the world a better place."

B. Average psychological resilience. Under normal circumstances, there shouldn't be any problems, at most some annoyance. What needs attention is that when significant changes occur in life, you need to be able to think positively and persevere.

C. Strong psychological resilience. You have extraordinary experiences, can face reality, cope well with external pressures, and are adaptable; you are the kind of person who can tolerate anything. With someone like you as a husband (wife), even if the sky falls, you can hold on.

2. Depression Test

Depression has been recognized as a leading public health problem worldwide. Indeed, due to its widespread prevalence, people often treat it like a common illness, like the common cold, taking it for granted. However, depression and the common cold are distinct; people can die from depression-severe depression leads to low mood, self-loathing, helplessness, restlessness, apathy, and self-destructive behavior. All of these can cause people to feel pessimistic, hopeless, and even self-destructive. Therefore, it is crucial to assess and understand one's level of depression and seek timely help from a mental health professional.

This section introduces a reliable scale to help you assess your mood regarding depression. It can determine whether a person is feeling depressed and the severity of their depression. Because this scale was developed by Dr. Aaron T. Baker, the founder of cognitive therapy and an American psychiatrist, it is also known as the Baker Depression Inventory (BDI). It consists of 21 questions, each with four different answer choices, scored on a scale of 0, 1, 2, and 3 (A = 0 points, B = 1 point, C = 2 points, D = 3 points). Please carefully read each question and find the answer that best reflects your mood over the past few days. Please answer every question and choose only one answer per question. If you are undecided between two answers, please choose the one with the higher score.

1.A. I do not feel sad.

B. I feel sad.

C. I feel sad all day long, and I can't get rid of the sadness.

D. I am so sad, I am so unfortunate, I can't take it anymore.

2.A. I have not lost courage for the future.

B. I feel discouraged about the future.

C. I felt lost and adrift, with nothing to look forward to.

D. I feel there is no hope for the future, and I feel that the situation is unlikely to improve.

3.A. I don't feel like a failure.

B. I feel that I am more likely to fail than the average person.

C. Looking back on my life, all I see is a series of failures.

D. I feel like a complete failure as a person.

4.A. I am content with things I am familiar with.

B. I can no longer enjoy life as I usually do.

C. I will never feel truly satisfied with anything again.

D. I am dissatisfied with everything, I find everything annoying and tasteless.

5.A. I do not feel guilty.

B. I felt guilty for a considerable period of time.

C. Most of the time I felt very guilty.

D. I felt guilty from beginning to end.

6.A. I do not feel that I am being punished.

B. I feel that I will be punished.

C. I look forward to being punished.

D. I feel like I am being punished.

7.A. I am not disappointed in myself.

B. I am disappointed in myself.

C. I hate myself.

D. I hate myself.

8.A. I don't think I'm worse than anyone else.

B. I criticize myself for my weaknesses or mistakes.

C. I constantly condemn myself for my mistakes.

D. I blamed myself for all the bad things that happened and condemned myself.

9.A. I have no suicidal thoughts.

B. I have suicidal thoughts, but I will never act on them.

C. I keep thinking about suicide.

D. I would want to commit suicide if I had the chance.

10.A. I didn't cry more often than usual.

B. I cry more often now than before.

C. I'm always crying now.

D. I've gotten used to crying, but now even if I want to cry, I can't.

11.A. I did not feel more impatient than before.

B. I feel a little more impatient than usual.

C. I feel very impatient or distressed for a lot of time.

D. I always felt impatient.

12.A. I have not lost interest in others.

B. Compared to the past, I am no longer very interested in other people.

C. I have lost the vast majority of my interest in others.

D. I have lost all interest in them.

13.A. I acted decisively and resolutely as always.

B. I'm not as decisive in making decisions as I used to be.

C. Compared to before, I have encountered greater difficulties in making decisions.

D. I can no longer make a decision.

14.A. Compared to before, I feel that I am uglier now.

B. I worry that I am getting old and losing my charm.

C. I feel that my appearance has undergone a permanent change, making me no longer attractive.

D. I believe I look like an ugly monster.

15.A. I can work just as well as before.

B. I need to put in extra effort to get started on something.

C. I have to force myself to do everything, even if it's just barely enough.

D. I can't do anything.

16.A. I can sleep soundly as usual.

B. I can't sleep as soundly as I used to.

C. I wake up 1-2 hours earlier than usual and find it difficult to fall back asleep.

D. I woke up several hours earlier than usual and couldn't fall back asleep.

17.A. As usual, I don't feel too tired.

B. Compared to before, I get tired more easily.

C. I feel tired no matter what I do.

D. I'm so tired I can't do anything.

18.A. My appetite is as good as usual.

B. My appetite is not as good as it used to be.

C. My appetite has gotten worse now.

D. I have lost all appetite.

19.A. I haven't lost much weight recently.

B. I lost about 2.5 kilograms.

C. I lost about 5 kilograms.

D. I lost about 7.5 kilograms.

20.A. I am no more worried about my health than usual.

B. I am worried about some health problems, such as pain, stomach discomfort, constipation, etc.

C. I am so worried about my health that I have almost no time to think about anything else.

D. I only worry about my own health and don't care about anything else.

21.A. I haven't felt any change in my interest in sex lately.

B. My interest in sex has diminished.

C. I'm not very interested in sex anymore.

D. I have completely lost interest in sex.

After completing the above test, please accumulate your total score. A total score between 1 and 10 indicates that your current mood is normal; 11 to 16 indicates mild mood disorder; 17 to 20 indicates that you have more or less developed some clinical symptoms of depression; 21 to 30 indicates moderate depression; 31 to 40 indicates severe depression; and a score above 40 indicates that you have fallen into an extreme depression.

So, under what circumstances should you seek help from a psychologist? If your total score on the test is greater than 10 but less than 17, then even if you have depression, it's mild, and there's no need to panic. You just need to adjust your mood, talk to a close friend, and maintain a cheerful mood. If your total score is above 17, you are very likely suffering from depression. You will be sentimental, in a bad mood, and often feel threatened. Although most people experience extreme anxiety at some point, if your score is above 30, you should seek help from a psychologist as soon as possible, and if necessary, see a psychiatrist. If you chose C or D for question 9, it means you have suicidal thoughts, and you should seek psychological counseling immediately. Question 20 asks if you are more concerned about your recent health. For example, have you experienced unexplained pain, suffering, fever, weight loss, or other symptoms? If so, it is recommended that you have a medical consultation, including taking a medical history and undergoing a physical examination. Because some symptoms of depression are similar to those of other psychosomatic illnesses, necessary medical examinations can help detect hidden physical ailments in a timely manner, thus saving one's life.